Communication: the key to career success

What do you do when you’re unhappy about stuff at work?

For many of us, the answer’s nothing.

We might moan about not getting that promotion we wanted, or how we have no work-life balance – but then we just sit around, hoping things will somehow miraculously change without us doing anything.

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” ~ Paul J. Meyer

Paul Meyer’s quote is spot on! If you really want to start managing your own career, rather than sitting on the sidelines, the most obvious thing to do is to have a word with your boss.

So what’s stopping you?

Here are some of the reasons I hear from my clients:

• ‘I don’t like confrontation.’
• ‘I don’t get on with my manager.’
• ‘I’ve already tried and it didn’t go well.’

But what if I was to tell you that it is possible to overcome these barriers? And that you can get the results you want, as well as strengthening or improving your relationship with your manager, by learning to communicate more confidently and effectively.

To get the ball rolling, I suggest setting up regular scheduled meetings with your manager. That way, any issues you have can be resolved more quickly – and before feelings of frustration and resentment have time to bed in.

The next step is to think about how you can get them to respond in the way that you want.

Here are some suggestions for making those interactions a more positive experience:

Be prepared

Before you approach your manager, think about what’s really important to you and what makes you happy in your worklife.

Maybe deep down you knew that job promotion, with all the extra stress and responsibility, wasn’t for you, but you were feeling undervalued and looking for a way to boost your self esteem.

Having these thoughts beforehand will help you to communicate your needs and wants more clearly and more assertively.

Be positive

Avoid rattling off a list of gripes and grievances, and using negative language such as ‘I can’t …’ and ‘I don’t want …’. This could make your manager feel irritated, attacked or defensive, and much less likely to react in the way you’d like.

Instead, aim to keep the conversation open and positive by making suggestions, asking questions, thinking of solutions, and using helpful language. Try saying things like, ‘Can I suggest that …?’ and ‘What can we do to …?’

Be mindful of your body language too. Smiling, maintaining eye contact and keeping an open posture, all signal a willingness to engage.

Be persuasive

As well as using positive language, we can also use persuasive language to help get the other person on side.

Saying ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ or ‘I’ builds a sense of kinship, and sends the message that you’re a team, rather than adversaries.

Mirroring your manager’s language is another way to win them over. So instead of saying the word that pops into your head, for example ‘goal’, use ‘deadline’ if that’s what they’ve said. And swap the word ‘No’ for ‘Yes’ – so it then becomes, ‘Yes, and we could achieve the deadline by …’.

Understanding what motivates you at work, as well as knowing the right language to use, will help you to communicate more effectively and add to your career success.

A powerful tool for helping us do this is the Language and Behavioural (LAB) Profile, which uses everyday conversations to help you discover what makes you tick, and equips you with the language you need to influence and persuade others.

If you want to find out more about the LAB Profile, you can read about it here, or email me on support@careerambitions.co.uk. I would love to hear from you!

In the meantime, I have some more homework for you.

Over the next week, try to be more aware of how you say things. If you catch yourself using avoidance, problem-focused language, think about how you could communicate the same message, but in a more positive way.

Here’s an example to get you started – instead of saying ‘I can’t, I haven’t got time now’, you could say, ‘Yes, I’ve got some time next week.’

I hope you’ve found this article useful, and feel ready to try out some of my suggestions. But if you have any questions, please do get in touch!

I’ll be sharing more tips on developing your communication skills on my blog. You can also read my previous post, which is all about how choosing the right moment to communicate can help you to get the outcomes you want.